Parenting a child with Special Needs. Written by therapist Erica Langer, Psy.D.
In 2014, my son was diagnosed with Autism. Just shy of 2 years old, his days became filled with hours of Applied Behavior Analysis, Speech and Occupational Therapy. His busy schedule was difficult to manage and created a lot of stress for him as well as for the family. Even more stressful was understanding and accepting his diagnosis.
Being a parent to a child with special needs presents its own challenges. Almost 9 years later, I would be lying if I said I had all the answers.
As a parent, and a therapist, I continue to learn every day and it is my goal to help parents in similar situations. Below is my advice for parents who recently received a diagnosis for their child such as Autism:
1. Educate yourself
When first diagnosed, our first step was to learn about the diagnosis and what it meant. We spoke to many different professionals, read books and articles, and learned as much as we could. Ask friends, professionals, teachers, and knowledgeable others for their most helpful resources.
2. Forget the diagnosis!
I am not a big fan of diagnoses or labels beyond how it can help to obtain services and information. Remember, your child is your child first and foremost. Do not let a label define them, and it won’t. My son is a sweet, happy child who loves being active, spending time outdoors and being with family. He also has a diagnosis of Autism.
3. Seek out support
As a therapist I will always be an advocate of talking about your experiences. Receiving a diagnosis such as Autism may elicit a range of emotions and reactions, and this is completely normal! Talking about these experiences with a therapist, a friend, a family member, or trusted other can give you a chance to process everything, ask questions, and let yourself feel what you need to feel. Which leads me to my next point.
4. Allow yourself to feel your feelings
Regardless of your feelings or the thoughts running through your head, they are valid because they are your feelings. You might find yourself feeling sad, disappointed, confused, or even angry. These are all normal feelings when you are coming to terms with a diagnosis. You may also have an image in your mind of what this diagnostic label “looks like” or means for the future. By really letting yourself feel your feelings, you are going to slowly replace those expectations and assumptions with the reality, which is that things may or may not look different than you planned, but your child is still your child, not the image in your head that you may be worried about.
5. Find a community
Through my son’s school, I made friends with parents of children similar to my son. They are people I wouldn’t have met if it weren’t for him. Our experiences brought us together and their support and understanding is so helpful to me. Join a support group or meet people in the community.
6. You are the expert
You know your child best. There will be a range of experienced professionals to give you advice. At the end of the day, you are the expert on your child. Listen to yourself first and foremost and if something seems off, seek a second opinion.