How to take care of your mental health when you are dealing with infertility
Written by Dr. Sarah Davidson
What is infertility and who does it affect?
Infertility can be an unexpected challenge couples confront on their journey to starting a family. It affects approximately 1 in 6 people of reproductive age globally (World Health Organization, 2023a).
Some may wonder what constitutes “infertility.” Infertility is a medical condition with many different contributing factors that results in an inability to achieve a successful pregnancy. These factors can involve an individual’s medical history, sexual history, reproductive history, age, physical findings, diagnostic testing, or the need for medical intervention to achieve pregnancy (American Society for Reproductive Medicine, 2023).
If there is no known underlying cause and the couple is unable to conceive within a year of trying for individuals under 35 and in under 6 months for individuals 35 or older, this also constitutes infertility (American Society for Reproductive Medicine, 2023). It is important to keep in mind that younger couples can also have difficulty conceiving. Many associate infertility with advanced advanced age, but this is not always the case.
Finally, sometimes couples find themselves in the surprising situation of successfully conceiving their first child but then unexpectedly struggling to conceive again (known as secondary infertility).
There are many contributing factors to infertility which are generally grouped into male factors, female factors or unexplained (World Health Organization, 2023b). A common misconception surrounding infertility is that it’s a “female” problem. Luckily, this is being increasingly challenged and there is a growing understanding of the importance of the interplay between both partners. In fact, male infertility may contribute as much as 50% to overall infertility rates (Schlegel et al., 2021).
How does infertility impact mental health?
Those coping with infertility often encounter emotional and psychological impacts in addition to the complex medical and physical implications it carries. Many individuals diagnosed with infertility and those undergoing interventions for infertility, such as assisted reproductive technology, find themselves struggling with symptoms of anxiety and depression. Additionally, those with previous experiences with depression, trauma, and eating disorders can be uniquely vulnerable to re-experiencing those symptoms again.
An infertility diagnosis and associated interventions often causes stress, feelings of a loss of control, and a great deal of uncertainty. The process can take a toll emotionally, physically, interpersonally, and financially - so it’s not surprising we see an increased risk for depression and anxiety in individuals diagnosed with infertility (Chen, 2004).
How can someone managing infertility support their mental health?
There are several steps one can take to support themselves as they navigate infertility which we will detail below. Additionally, seeking therapy from a professional trained in perinatal mental health with a specific focus on infertility and reproductive considerations can be an important step to take. Treating psychiatric symptoms can be supportive for you during your fertility journey so please reach out if you’re interested in booking a consultation.
Focus on other interests
o Sometimes the infertility process can feel all-consuming so it can be important to focus on and cultivate other areas of interest. Invest in something you’ve always loved like painting or hiking or take up a new interest like reading or photography.
Build a support network
o Struggling with infertility can lead to many mixed emotions. Some may feel alone or prefer to be private about their experience while others process by openly sharing. Either way, having a few trusted friends or family members to support you can make a big difference.
Support your relationship
o Receiving an infertility diagnosis and the associated process can take a toll on your relationships, especially between you and your partner. Remember, you need each other to get through this. Try to plan date nights, connect over shared interests, or maybe even plan a couples trip to nurture and support your connection.
Combat shame and blame
o It is essential to remember that infertility is a physical diagnosis! This is not your fault, nobody is to blame.
Protect yourself when you need to
o Everyone has their own reaction to different triggers. For some people, attending baby showers or being the go-to confidant for a pregnant friend can be too much. Take the necessary steps to protect yourself during this vulnerable time.
Join a group to connect with other individuals who uniquely understand the experience
o Postpartum Support International hosts a fertility focused support group: https://postpartum.net/group/fertility-challenges/
Communicate your needs
o Friends and family members often mean well but sometimes they don’t know if they should ask about how treatments are going or how you’d like to hear that a loved one is expecting. You may need to be explicit about what you’re needing so they can show up for you.
Lean into your strengths
o Many going through infertility treatments put a great deal of emphasis on their “success” with fertility outcomes. However, the reality is that most of that is beyond their control. Focus on other pursuits that you enjoy and are good at.
Remember, hormones are powerful
o Show yourself some understanding if you’re feeling a bit out of sorts during fertility treatments that involve hormones.
Relax …but not because you’re blaming yourself for stressing!
o Fertility treatments can be draining emotionally and physically. It’s important to take time to do things you enjoy like a walk on the beach, going to a concert, or pampering yourself.
To book a consultation call with Dr. Sarah Davidson, please contact us.
References:
Chen, T. H., Chang, S. P., Tsai, C. F., & Juang, K. D. (2004). Prevalence of depressive and anxiety disorders in an assisted reproductive technique clinic. Human Reproduction, 19(10), 2313–2318. https://doi.org/10.1093/humrep/deh414
Practice Committee of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. (2023). Definition of infertility: A committee opinion. American Society for Reproductive Medicine.
Retrieved from https://www.asrm.org/practice-guidance/practice-committee-documents/definition-of-infertility/
Schlegel, P.N., Sigman, M., Collura, B., De Jonge, C. J., Eisenberg, M. L., Lamb, D. J., Mulhall, J. P., Niederberger, C., Sandlow, J.I., Sokol, R. Z., Spandorfer, S.D., Tanrikut, C., Treadwell, J. R., Oristaglio, J.T., & Zini, A. (2021). Diagnosis and Treatment of Infertility in Men: AUA/ASRM Guideline Part I. The Journal of Urology, 205(1), 36-43. https://doi.org/10.1097/JU.0000000000001521
World Health Organization. (2023a). 1 in 6 people globally affected by infertility: WHO [News release]. Retrieved July 29, 2025, from https://www.who.int/news/item/04-04-2023-1-in-6-people-globally-affected-by-infertility
World Health Organization. (2023b). Infertility [Fact sheet]. Retrieved July 29, 2025, from https://www.who.int/news‑room/fact‑sheets/detail/infertility