Trying to Conceive? 5 Ways to Support Your Mental Health
Written by Ale Feliz, PsyD
Trying to conceive (TTC) can be one of the most emotionally complex experiences someone goes through. It’s a time filled with hope, uncertainty, and often a deep sense of pressure. You can do everything “right” and still not get the outcome you’re hoping for and that can feel incredibly frustrating and disheartening.
TTC can go quicker than expected and surprise you, or it could last several cycles, which most couples know to expect. At times, the process takes longer than expected, and then the lack of clear answers about what your body is doing can make it even harder to navigate. You may not be coping with the infertility label at this point (couples are officially diagnosed with infertility at 12 months when younger than 35, and at 6 months if 35 and older) but that doesn’t mean that the process isn’t stress inducing and isolating (ASRM, 2023).
No matter where you are in the TTC journey, research shows that individuals across all stages experience higher rates of anxiety and depression (Henrich & Jahnke, 2025). It is difficult to not know why it isn’t working, especially because this is often the first time people are faced with a situation that often does not have a clear solution. Thus, supporting your mental health during this time is crucial.
If you’re in this phase, you’re not alone. Here are five ways to support your mental health along the way:
1. Remind yourself: this is a marathon, not a race
TTC is one of those rare experiences where effort doesn’t always equal outcome. That lack of control can be really hard. Be gentle with yourself. Reminding yourself that this is a process and not something you can rush can help create a bit more emotional space and self-compassion.
Grounding yourself in reality can help counter that pressure: Research shows that even among healthy couples, it can take up to 12 months to conceive, with most couples becoming pregnant within that first year (American Society for Reproductive Medicine, 2023).
This isn’t an exam you can ace. It’s a process and one that unfolds on its own time.
Gently reminding yourself of that can help soften the urgency. It doesn’t mean giving up hope. Instead, it means making space for patience, flexibility, and self-compassion in something that is inherently uncertain.
When you notice yourself spiraling into timelines or pressure, try coming back to a grounding phrase like:
“I’m in a process, not working with a deadline.”
“This moment is hard, and I can get through it.”
“More information won’t necessarily give me more control right now.”
“My timeline is my own.”
2. Set boundaries with information overload
Uncertainty often leads us to seek answers. You might find yourself Googling symptoms, scrolling forums, or asking the same questions repeatedly on ChatGPT, hoping for reassurance. In other moments of your life, information may have helped you feel empowered and in control. However, during TTC, there is a fine line between helpful information and information overload.
Consider setting a daily limit (e.g., 10–15 minutes) for TTC-related apps, forums, or searches. This small boundary can help protect your mental space, reduce stress, and prevent the process from taking over your thoughts.
When you reach your limit, have a simple alternative ready to redirect your focus. This could be journaling your feelings, going for a short walk, doing a puzzle, or engaging in any activity that helps you feel grounded and present. These small shifts can make a big difference in managing anxiety and staying connected to life outside of TTC.
3. Make room for joy outside of TTC
TTC can easily become all-consuming, and you might find yourself caught in a loop of constant questions and decisions: “Should I take another OPK?” “Wait, can I drink another cup of coffee?”“Do I need to change my skincare?” “Is plastic bad for me?” repeated over and over. Even small daily choices start to feel loaded with meaning, and the constant focus on every symptom or habit can leave you feeling drained and anxious, as if life is on pause until you get “the answer.”
That’s why it’s so important to intentionally invest time in activities and hobbies that have nothing to do with TTC. Research shows that engaging in activities unrelated to trying to conceive is associated with lower day-to-day depression, anxiety, and infertility-related distress (Gibson et al., 2020). Building a life outside of TTC can restore perspective, protect your mental health, and remind you that your life is bigger than your fertility journey.
Set aside time to identify 4-5 different activities that bring you joy completely outside of TTC.
4. Build a supportive community
Connecting with others who understand what you’re going through can make a big difference. Whether it’s friends, support groups, or others on a similar path, having a space where you feel seen and understood can reduce isolation and provide comfort.
There are plenty of groups available for additional support during this time. These include online groups and forums through Reddit, Discord and Facebook. There are also more formal therapeutic spaces (both virtual and in person) through Postpartum Support International, Resolve, and local therapist-led support groups.
5. Consider ongoing emotional support (like therapy)
Having a consistent space to process your thoughts and emotions can be incredibly grounding. When you know you have a dedicated time each week to talk things through, your mind doesn’t have to carry everything all at once. Therapy can help you navigate the uncertainty, manage anxiety, and stay connected to yourself throughout the process. Knowing you have a place where you lay it all out can be incredibly helpful for your mental health, as well as your relationships.
TTC can bring up a whirlwind of emotions, including hope, excitement, frustration, grief, and anxiety. When these feelings aren’t fully processed, it’s easy for your mind to spiral, ruminating on every symptom, decision, or outcome all day long. Therapy offers a safe, structured space to explore all of these emotions without judgment. A therapist can help you identify patterns, manage anxiety, and develop coping strategies tailored to your experience. Regular sessions provide consistency, which can reduce mental load and prevent the constant “what if” thinking that often takes over daily life.
Even outside of formal therapy, carving out intentional time to reflect through journaling, mindfulness, or guided exercises, can be beneficial. But having a trained professional to guide you through the emotional ups and downs of TTC can be especially grounding, helping you maintain perspective, build resilience, and feel supported throughout this challenging journey.
Citations:
American Society for Reproductive Medicine. (2023). Defining infertility. https://www.reproductivefacts.org/news-and-publications/fact-sheets-and-infographics/defining-infertility/
Gibson, L. J., et al. (2020). Daily coping strategies and mood in women experiencing infertility: The benefit of behavioral engagement beyond TTC. Archives of Women’s Mental Health, 23(6), 789–800. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00737-020-01029-9
Practice Committee of the American Society for Reproductive Medicine. (2023). Definition of infertility: A committee opinion. Fertility and Sterility, 120(4), 749–751. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.fertnstert.2023.08.002