Supporting your mental health throughout your feeding journey

Written by Dr. Sarah Davidson, PsyD

Determining how you will feed your newborn is a topic that often elicits many feelings, considerations, and opinions. Regardless of what approach you determine is best for you, taking steps to support your mental health is an important component. At The Centered Space Psychology Group, we recommend that new parents to set aside some time to consider their feeding preferences, to setup supports, and to monitor their feelings and needs throughout the process.

Read on for some steps you can take before, during, and after your feeding journey to support your mental health throughout the process. 

Before:  

• What have you imagined for yourself? Consider your own preferences, priorities, and resources connected to feeding 

  • It can also be helpful to remain flexible and open to the possibility that the circumstances may not fully support your original feeding preferences 

• Connect with your partner (if applicable) to identify and address areas you align and diverge regarding feeding preferences

  • Identify how you’ll work together as a team to meet your shared feeding preferences and expectations

  • Even if you decide to breastfeed, non-birthing partners can play a big role in helping with breastfeeding

• Seek education and ask any questions you have regarding feeding with your medical provider

• Share any personal or familial psychiatric diagnoses with your medical provider so they can provide you appropriate guidance 

• Consider connecting with a lactation consultant if you want to breastfeed

• Identify and setup peer and family support

  • Especially (but not only) if breastfeeding, mom will need help getting enough water, food, and sleep and she needs a village to help her out since so much time will be spent feeding baby

• WE RECOMMEND preemptively connecting with a mental health professional so you have a baseline assessment and a team in place if psychological concerns arise 

  • As soon as you are pregnant (or even before) you can begin working with a perinatal therapist!

During:  

• Monitor how you are feeling throughout you breastfeeding journey and honor your individual experience so you can adjust and bring in supports that best meet your needs 

  • Everyone is unique and has different experiences, priorities, and circumstances that influence what approach is best for them 

  • Some people feel more anxious, hypervigilant or depressed when breastfeeding, others feel good/neutral

• Despite your preferences and plan, sometimes breastfeeding does not go as you intended which can be challenging to cope with. 

  • Moms can feel touched out or like their body isn’t theirs any more

  • Dads and non-birthing partners can feel left out or unnecessary (not true of course!)

  • Postpartum Support Intentional offers a support group to process this experience

• Come up with a sleep plan that balances BOTH feeding and parent sleep needs as best as possible 

  • Achieving adequate sleep as a new parent can be challenging, especially if breastfeeding, but sleep is essential to protect your mental health. Communicate with your partner about how you will work together to prioritize protected sleep

  • We recommend 7+ hours per night with a minimum of 4-5 consecutive hours of sleep

• While breastfeeding can be a rewarding and positive journey for many, some women experience what called Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER). This involves unpleasant feelings such as anxiety, lowered mood, or anger during the milk let down 

• Being aware of D-MER can help you recognize its symptoms and seek support from your medical provider, lactation consultant, or mental health professional

After:  

• When your decide to stop breastfeeding, be aware that the weaning process can be an emotional and vulnerable time for your mental health

  • Weaning can bring on mixed experiences, from relief (e.g. my body is finally mine again, feeling touched-out reduces) to grief and sadness or regret (e.g. this chapter is closing, I am a bad prent for stopping, my baby is growing up)

  • Monitor your emotional experience, inform your partner, and reach out to a mental health professional if needed 

Whatever your feeding journey looks like, practicing self-compassion, taking care of your physical and emotional well-being, and leaning on your support system can make a meaningful difference. If you find yourself struggling emotionally, consider adding a mental health professional to your team. Taking care of your mental health is important for you and your baby. 

Resources: 

• Mass General Hospital Center for Women’s Mental Health hosts a podcast in which mother’s share their experiences feeding their babies. The also have many great resources regarding mental health and the perinatal period 

• Postpartum Support International has a wide range of resources focused on mental health during the perinatal period  

References: 

Heise, A.M., & Wiessinger, D. (2011). Dysphoric milk ejection reflex: A case report. International Breastfeeding Journal, 6(1), 6. https://doi.org/10.1186/1746-4358-6-6

Okun, M. L., & Lac, A. (2023). Postpartum Insomnia and Poor Sleep Quality Are Longitudinally Predictive of Postpartum Mood Symptoms. Psychosomatic medicine, 85(8), 736–743. https://doi.org/10.1097/PSY.0000000000001234